You become the people you surround yourself with. If you hang out with drug users or prostitutes, you will eventually see it as morally acceptable for you behave in the same way. Hang out with athletes and people in healthy relationships, you will find yourself becoming fit and surrounded by people who are committed to loving and supporting you.
When my son was little he used to tell riddles like, “What’s black and white and red all over? A newspaper.” One day he said, “What’s better than you and worse than you?”
“I don’t know sweetie, what is?”
He giggled and said… “You!”
It stopped me in my tracks. I have thought about it often in the 20+years since he posed the question. We are all capable of being the best or worst versions of ourselves based on the people we allow into our lives.
Think of your personality changing the way paint does when you mix colors. If you are “blue” and you add a person to your life who is “yellow,” you become new-growth green. Add a person who is “red,” and you become mystic purple. But if you befriend someone who is “grey,” your color won’t appeal to anyone except equally muddy colors. No matter what color you add to life at that point, it will clash with clear colors.
If you were raised by “muddy colors,” it can be very difficult to recognize, much less identify with, beautiful colors. But, it can be done with a great deal of effort. You have to find a way to rid yourself of toxic people and situations and find the essence of who you really are. Otherwise, you will continue to pick people who are similar shades of your family of origin.
Anytime you find yourself saying something like: I hate myself, or my life, it is your essence (your soul) letting you know that your “humanness” has simply traveled to far from who you really are. Your spirit – your true color – is rejecting the external life that is being lived by you… at that moment. The infinite wisdom within you knows it’s time for a change. And you DO have the strength to dynamically change and adapt to a new you.
If there is someone in your life, or a circumstance that isn’t contributing to the bouquet of colors you want to become, eradicate them/it, like lead paint.
We are all children of the universe, NOT reflections of the negative events in our lives. WE get to decide who we are and what we will become. The only way to do that is to find people who will reflect our beauty in a way that our lives become a masterpiece of color and light; like chameleons always adapting to the environments they inhabit.